The Spiral Of Silence

Now this is what sportsmanship is all about...

2008-05-01T16:51:16Z

Opponents carry injured home-run hitter around bases

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - With two runners on base and a strike against her, Sara Tucholsky of Western Oregon University uncorked her best swing and did something she had never done, in high school or college. Her first home run cleared the center-field fence.

But it appeared to be the shortest of dreams come true when she missed first base, started back to tag it and collapsed with a knee injury.

She crawled back to first but could do no more. The first-base coach said she would be called out if her teammates tried to help her. Or, the umpire said, a pinch runner could be called in, and the homer would count as a single.

Then, members of the Central Washington University softball team stunned spectators by carrying Tucholsky around the bases Saturday so the three-run homer would count - an act that contributed to their own elimination from the playoffs.

Central Washington first baseman Mallory Holtman, the career home run leader in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference, asked the umpire if she and her teammates could help Tucholsky.

The umpire said there was no rule against it.

So Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace put their arms under Tucholsky's legs, and she put her arms over their shoulders. The three headed around the base paths, stopping to let Tucholsky touch each base with her good leg.

"The only thing I remember is that Mallory asked me which leg was the one that hurt," Tucholsky said. "I told her it was my right leg and she said, 'OK, we're going to drop you down gently and you need to touch it with your left leg,' and I said 'OK, thank you very much."'

"She said, 'You deserve it, you hit it over the fence,' and we all kind of just laughed."

"We started laughing when we touched second base," Holtman said. "I said, 'I wonder what this must look like to other people."'

"We didn't know that she was a senior or that this was her first home run," Wallace said Wednesday. "That makes the story more touching than it was. We just wanted to help her."

Holtman said she and Wallace weren't thinking about the playoff spot, and didn't consider the gesture something others wouldn't do.

As for Tucholsky, the 5-foot-2 right fielder was focused on her pain.

"I really didn't say too much. I was trying to breathe," she told The Associated Press in a telephone interview Wednesday.

"I didn't realize what was going on until I had time to sit down and let the pain relax a little bit," she said. "Then I realized the extent of what I actually did."

"I hope I would do the same for her in the same situation," Tucholsky added.

As the trio reached home plate, Tucholsky said, the entire Western Oregon team was in tears.

Central Washington coach Gary Frederick, a 14-year coaching veteran, called the act of sportsmanship "unbelievable."

For Western Oregon coach Pam Knox, the gesture resolved the dilemma Tucholsky's injury presented.

"She was going to kill me if we sub and take (the home run) away. But at the same time I was concerned for her. I didn't know what to do," Knox said.

Tucholsky's injury is a possible torn ligament that will sideline her for the rest of the season, and she plans to graduate in the spring with a degree in business. Her home run sent Western Oregon to a 4-2 victory, ending Central Washington's chances of winning the conference and advancing to the playoffs.

"In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much," Holtman said. "It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run."

pookahontas @ 2008-04-26T11:05:00

2008-04-26T15:06:31Z

Happy Birthday to the lovely and talented xfieryphoenix - I love you!!!!!

pookahontas @ 2008-03-07T08:00:00

2008-03-07T13:01:54Z

Double Birthday wishes!

Happy Birthday to the wonderful and beautiful marylynn!
and
Happy Birthday to the talented and gorgeous staceyloobug!

pookahontas @ 2007-10-09T18:42:00

2007-10-09T22:43:24Z

Lookie at where my brother is taking me when I visit him at the end of the month:

http://www.launionmaze.com/cornmaze.htm

pookahontas @ 2007-08-06T09:43:00

2007-08-06T13:46:35Z

thank you, thank you, thank you....

it's football season.

pookahontas @ 2007-07-29T07:50:00

2007-07-29T11:51:18Z

Happy Birthday, matika!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

2007-07-27T11:33:22Z

Happy Birthday to Martin "Tre" Kelly!

He's ONE today!

Tre with his mommy jenlohrkelly about two and a half months ago.

pookahontas @ 2007-07-23T21:32:00

2007-07-24T01:32:44Z

I had dinner with my father today. Gah.

He's trying, I guess. We just really don't have anything to talk about anymore. After we stopped working at the same place, we at least lived in the same house. Now, three plus years removed from that we have NOTHING in common. At all. I think I'm the mailman's kid. Really.

Though, interestingly enough, he brought up the subject of money and paying for my possible-future-hypothetical wedding. Of course, he did it by telling me that Flaugherty House was too expensive (Your cousin Melissa (not really my cousin, BTW) said that Flaugherty House was over $50 a head, plus bring your own liquor, and her father wouldn't pay for that.), and I knocked him down by saying that you really can't get estimates until you have a date and a figure for how many people - neither of which I'll really have until I get a ring. So then he moved onto the honeymoon topic, and I told him we wanted to go to Hawaii, but didn't know if we'd be able to do so, financially. After that he moved onto the dress (yes, I showed him the pictures - he didn't seem impressed). He finally left it at, "Once you set a date we need to sit down and have a serious conversation about money."

Now, not once, other than totally jokingly a few months ago, did I even ever imply that I wanted him to pay for the wedding/give me money. So the fact that he's thinking that way is half the battle, really.

///

Work today really blew. I had to do email, and I guess I fucked myself over by doing too good a job the last two weeks on my email days, because I'm not allowed project time anymore - I have to simultaneously do email and take calls. Not easy. At all. But whatever, I'll do this too, and do it extremely well, and I'll get crapped on for it and then someone will appreciate it and throw me some kind of bone.

I emailed Trang, the HR lady in Harrisburg who handles FMLA, to see if she got my paperwork, and she never emailed me back. I'll call her tomorrow if she doesn't email me back.

I still need to call the landlord and the surgeon, and HealthAmerica about the claim for the ER doctor from The Great Taco Cooking Incident of 2007 (they've had the claim for two months now and it is still showing in "other" status online, meanwhile they already paid the hospital...)

One thing at a time, right?

pookahontas @ 2007-07-15T10:30:00

2007-07-15T14:31:25Z

I'm an ass.

I missed wallbrat's birthday on Friday.

=(

Blame it on Mrs. R's jello shots. Really. The woman is a magician.

Anyway, happy b-day, a bit late, wallbrat.

Behold.... a Pittsburgh icon

2007-06-16T11:04:20Z

Under the cut... the. best. picture. ever.

pookahontas @ 2007-04-26T07:35:00

2007-04-26T11:35:50Z

Happy Birthday, xfieryphoenix!!!!!

I ♥ you!

pookahontas @ 2007-04-10T22:05:00

2007-04-11T02:08:12Z

Happy Birthday to the lovely and talented april_star978!

We may be far away from each other, but my heart is always with you. You are the best friend a girl could ever have!

pookahontas @ 2007-03-25T08:56:00

2007-03-25T12:57:25Z

Happy Birthday, Elton John!!!!!!

pookahontas @ 2007-03-18T16:29:00

2007-03-18T20:31:57Z

I wish littlestar992 would stop disappearing on me when I'm not paying attention to who has me listed as a friend...

Thank you, sweet Mother Earth...

2007-03-16T11:40:37Z

pookahontas @ 2007-03-07T07:40:00

2007-03-07T12:43:04Z

Happy, happy, happy 29th birthday to marylynn!!!

A public service announcement...

2007-03-06T12:35:47Z

Girl Scout cookies = crack.

Especially Samoas.

For april_star978

2007-02-21T22:40:03Z

pookahontas @ 2006-12-25T07:31:00

2006-12-25T12:32:23Z

Merry Christmas, everyone.

I have no right

2006-08-28T02:28:07Z

I have no right to feel the way I do.

In some sick way, I want something unspeakably terrible to happen to me, just so I can justify my mental state. I'm fully and painfully aware that there are people out there who are a hell of a lot worse off than I am, but who don't have the negativity that I do.

I don't want to be like this. Believe me when I say that. I wouldn't be flushing hundreds of dollars a month down the shitter on therapy and meds if I wanted to be this way. I just can't reconcile the reality with my warped interpretation of it... I know that my perception of things is askew, and I can clearly identify the areas that need change and even come up with logical ways of changing them.... but I can't get out from under this weight of hopelessness to actually do anything.

Like today, I made out like a damn bandit. I went over to Mom's, and she had just finishd the throw pillows for my couch. So then we went to the grocery store, and she bought me groceries, again. After that we headed over to Grandma's... not only did Gram make spaghetti (my favorite Grandma food), but she intentionally made way too much and I ended up with enough leftovers to make three meals. My Uncle Bill made bed risers for me, and they're fucking perfect. Each one is perfectly even dimensions, rounded edges, and he put a depression in the top of each one for the posts/bed feet to rest in so they won't slide around. Aunt Lee gave me her George Foreman - a two burger sized one with the bun warmer. She didn't have the grease tray for it, but big fricking deal... it was only used once. Aunt Becky picked up Diet Coke Black Cherry & Vanilla instead of regular Diet Coke at the store yesterday, so Grandma gave me that, too. And, Aunt Lee and Uncle Bill are renovating their extra room from a sitting area /sewing room into a guest room, so they went out and bought a new bed for it and have decided to give away their queen-sized air bed... and yep, I'm getting that, too. Then Mom and I went over to Big Lots, and I got curtain rods and holdbacks that match my bed, a napkin holder for my dining room table, sandwich containers, some crafty stuff, car air fresheners.... and she wouldn't let me pay for any of it.

But I look in the mirror and I still see a person that isn't worth anything, that doesn't deserve anything, that is a waste of flesh and good air. I feel like my family pities me, and that's why they are being generous. Thinking if they give me things I'll eventually have everything I need and I'll leave them the hell alone

*sigh*

I'm still reeling from the Putz-sighting. I did some minimal online-stalking last night, just out of curiosity's sake. I didn't go so far as paying for the report from LocateAmerica, though I am damn tempted. According to their teaser, the person with that name who is roughly his age has addresses listed not only in Moon Township and Oakdale (as was the case three years ago), but now also in Coraopolis. Hmm. It almost makes sense. The house in Oakdale wasn't somewhere he planned to live forever - he bought it to fix it up and then resell it. Houses here in Cory are cheap, and they have tons of potential to be fixed up.... Then i catch myself and get pissed off for thinking about it. I have a boyfriend, one whom loves my crazy ass very much. The Putz and I, well, it's a stupid fantasy that I shouldn't waste any more of my life on... I'll just end up getting hurt again. I still remember the night we spent four hours "breaking up" (I put that in quotes because we were never technically together) and spending that night curled up in his arms in his bed, crying my eyes out, feeling the closest I'd ever felt to anyone, and yet feeling a distance of lightyeras between us. He was, and likely still is, everything I wanted, needed, and dreamed of. I was nothing to him. That hurts. To know that I could feel so strongly for someone and they don't feel anything back... it's discouraging and painful. Every guy I'd ever hooked up with before I always felt like there was something better waiting for me - I didn't feel that with the Putz. But yet, I was nothing to him. It's a very scary thought - that the person who is your soulmate just might not be hardwired to have you be theirs. Reciprocation, or lackthereof, is a bitch, I guess.

*sigh*

So. There's insulin overdose with Xanax and wine (to make sure the seizures don't "snap me out of it" or alert anyone to call for help. There's a car accident (tricky, because of all the damn safety features on the car). Straight pills - I've got vicodan, percoset, percodan, xanax, and ativan. Gas, I could easily do gas, especially since my oven is a bazillion years old and still has pilot lights. No good place to hang myself around here. I'm too afraid of pain for razors. I can't stand guns, so that's out. Plenty of bridges to jump from... yes, I think about this often, and I have lists of the pros and cons of each method. I figure what could go wrong, I make contingencies. I've not yet gotten as far as writing the letters, but I'm close. I'm just afraid of someone blaming themselves, wondering why their love/friendship wasn't enough to make me happy. I am well aware of my friends, and how they feel, and that they think I'm wonderful. But the only opinion that matters is mine, and I hate myself, so there we go thankyouverymuch let's move on great

.

Love me? Prove it.

2006-08-12T14:30:28Z

Okay, so the first two pieces of mail I've gotten at my new home were the contract for my renters insurance and my gas bill. Not all that exciting.

So if you love me, prove it.

Jennifer Held
1347 State Ave Apt 208
Coraopolis, PA 15108

phone 724 777 2143 (cell, staying the same)

email staying the same as well.

First Surprise...

2006-07-29T18:25:22Z

Took Mom's loaded Aveo over to Coraopolis and headed inside. My name was already on my mailbox and also on the call list to get buzzed in. Pretty neat. Met the incredibly hot landlord and signed my life away.... and then got smacked with the first surprise. The deposit had increased from $99 to one month's rent. As this would have left me with only $46 in my checking account and not getting paid until August 11, Mom loaned me the $450. She doesn't have it to loan, and I feel like a piece of crap for taking it. I told her I'd ask Dale for a loan, but she insisted.

Got the keys, did the walk-through. The vanity in the bathroom is the wrong size, but Greg said that the new one is due in Tuesday or Wednesday and he'll come in and replace it. So I can't get too settled in the bathroom yet.

Met three of my new neighbors - Rita, Elaine, and Adrianne. Adrianned moved into the other one bedroom that I had looked at - and she's got a daughter my age. Rita and Elaine are older, too, but they've all been super nice. Adrianne's daughter had come to pick her up and take her to a family reunion, and offered to get her husband out of the car to carry in my table and chairs. They all said if I need anything to just knock on their doors and they'd do whatever they could.

I really hope I'm going to like it there...

pookahontas @ 2006-07-28T23:01:00

2006-07-29T03:01:58Z

Freaking out.

pookahontas @ 2006-06-18T11:12:00

2006-06-18T15:13:15Z

Borrowed from my boyfriend wallbrat, and oddly, disgustingly appropriate for the HCoA:

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."
-Jim Morrison

pookahontas @ 2006-06-14T08:20:00

2006-06-14T12:21:08Z

Okay, the 90-year-old guy that just got a makeover on the TODAY show was quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen. He and his little wife (of 66 years!) both got makeovers for Father's Day.

Damn.